Eclipse
by lalatina15
Summary: Today is no different she’s gotten use to being there, visiting more often than she likes to admit. So she sits, another late Friday afternoon, face to face with Sean’s gravestone. [oneshot]


Author's Note- I'm sticking to one shots from now on, simply because I suck at chapter stories (especially if I don't finish them before I post them). Anyway, I don't know how in the world the idea for this one hit... just did. If anyone's OOC, sorry, though I hope they aren't. Also, don't hate me for how things end. Read, review, criticise!

Setting- about two years into the future.

Characters- Ellie, Emma, Sean (sort of...)

ooOooOoo

_You walk along by yourself_

_There's no sound, nothing is changing_

_Been gone away, left you there_

_**Emptiness is nothing you can't share**_

_All those words that hurt you_

_More than you would let it show_

_Comes apart, by yourself_

_All is well and everything is wasted_

Falls Apart – Sugar Ray

ooOooOoo

Maybe it would have been easier on her if she had buried her feelings right along with him, but she knew better than that. She knew that feelings didn't go away that easily, and death didn't make it easier to stop loving a person. That could be why she wandered to the cemetery several times a week to have conversations with a boy that'd been dead for almost two months.

It was the easiest way for her to deal with it; visiting his grave made it seem as though he was still around. She'd talk to him, talk about the day he left her—the day of the accident—and tell him about how her life was going. Though she obviously never got a response back, it was comforting to know that she could still go to him and just talk about what was on her mind.

Today is no different; she's gotten use to being there, visiting more often than she likes to admit. So she sits, another late Friday afternoon, face to face with Sean's gravestone.

She sighs, taking in the cold air, something Ellie wasn't quite use to yet with the changing of the seasons. In hopes of warming herself up somewhat she rubs her hands together before cupping them over her mouth and breathing into them.

"I can't seem to stop myself from thinking about that day," she admits. "I don't know what it is… I just, I keep remembering sitting there at home, waiting for you, thinking about the appointment, wondering what it was going to be like. I waited, and waited, and you never showed. I actually thought you bailed on me; thought maybe you just, couldn't deal with it." She shakes her head to herself, because she knows it's not something he would do, and how wrong she had actually been. "Then I got the call from Jay, telling me you'd been in an accident…

"A part of me actually wishes you had run off scared, refusing to take me to the clinic, because… then there would have been a chance you'd come back. You wouldn't be gone."

Ellie fights the urge to cry, quickly wiping away any tears that did land on cheeks. It was almost ritualistic how she recounted the day of his death over and over with each visit.

"I'm—I'm sorry Sean… I know it's all my fault, _everything_. It was mine, and if you hadn't been on your way to pick me up… you'd still be here. You wouldn't have gotten in an accident, and none of this would've happened." She always apologized, placed the blame on herself, and wondered if she'd even be forgiven. No matter what anybody ever said, the fact that Sean was on his way to pick her up, was enough for her to carry the guilt of that day with her.

"I guess… I don't know if I kept the baby out of guilt, or because I was trying to hold on to you somehow. But, I'm glad I did, because, it's like you're not completely gone; you're still here, in a way," Ellie explains, smiling slightly at the thought that some piece of him was still there with her. "I had an appointment today… I got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time; sounds strong." She takes out a picture from her bag of her ultrasound and places it against the grave marker. "He, or she, is doing okay… strong."

"I didn't think anyone would be here." Not quite recognizing the female voice, Ellie turns around to see Emma standing behind her with several yellow flowers in hand.

"I come here a couple of times a week."

"I really miss Sean too, a lot."

Ellie fights the urge to tell the other girl that she isn't the one who's pregnant with a child whose father just recently passed, but instead stays quiet until Emma speaks up once again. "I haven't seen you since the funeral."

"Well, school, and the fact that we aren't exactly friends does that…" The statement comes out somewhat more bitter than she'd anticipated.

Emma shrugs her shoulders lightly, saying "the only thing we've ever really had in common was Sean."

"Yeah, well, he's gone now."

The blond says nothing, bringing herself to her knees, setting herself across from Ellie. She notices the picture by the tombstone and asks, "are you pregnant?"

Ellie confirms it, "sixteen weeks," without looking at the other girl.

"Is it Sean's?"

"Excuse me?"

"I know it's none of my business, it's just—"

"You're right, it's not," Ellie tells her, somewhat upset by the fact that she was being asked about the paternity of a child from her dead boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. "But yeah, it's his."

Neither girl says anything for bit. It'd been the first time they had an actual conversation, and so far it was less than pleasant.

Emma finally speaks up. "I always pictured having a future with Sean… having a baby with _him_."

Ellie's surprised to hear this, and asks, "why are you telling me this?"

"I don't really know, thought you'd be the only other person to understand that."

"I guess I can…" Ellie responds, softening up a bit. "I wish none of this would've happened."

"The accident… or the baby?"

"Sometimes both, but the baby is the only real part of Sean I have right now," admits the redhead.

"If Sean was still here, would you still be having it?"

The question stings a bit, as it causes Ellie to think back to the day of the accident, the day she'd decided that they wouldn't be becoming parents. "Maybe…" She knew that was a lie. "No."

"Sean would have made a great father." Emma asks, "why would you do that?"

"I know that, but it wasn't that easy. We couldn't have a kid—we weren't ready. He was barely making enough money at the shop and I was still in school…"

"Did he even _know_?"

"Of course he knew! We came to a decision together, we agreed…"

Emma shakes her head furiously in disbelief. "I know Sean, he would never do that!"

"What, and I _don't_?" Ellie asks rhetorically. "Look, you haven't been with Sean in almost two years… you don't know what he would do in that situation. We were doing what we thought was best for us." The simple act of thinking about the situation and having to spit it back at Emma was upsetting her, making the tears harder to fight. "I just—I just never thought that what was best would lead to this… that Sean would be gone because of it…"

"What are you saying?"

"It's my fault! All of it! The day of the accident, Sean was on his was to pick me up for—for—"

"Ellie, you can't—"

"If I'd just sucked it up and gone at it alone… none of this would've happened… he'd, he'd still be here," Ellie let out through the tears, tears she never thought she'd ever let the other girl see.

Emma sighs deeply, surprised to see that Ellie'd been blaming herself for Sean's death all this time. "Ellie, I haven't told anyone this… not Manny, not anyone, but I guess I owe it to you, to tell you that I never got over Sean. And the day of the accident, I called him over to tell him I still had feelings for him. He told me he was on his way to see you, but I insisted on him coming over for just a bit… and he agreed."

At this point, the redhead couldn't quite believe what she was hearing, and stared over in disbelief. "What?"

"You can't blame yourself for what happened."

Ellie swallowed hard and agreed. "You're right—I blame you."

ooOooOoo

_Thanks for reading. Constructive criticism actually makes me smile (no, seriously!), so review._


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